


Following After

by Squishy_TRex



Category: Atomic Blonde (2017)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Conversations, F/F, Fluff, Introspection, Relationship Study, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 18:58:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16352333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishy_TRex/pseuds/Squishy_TRex
Summary: Lorraine knows it's better for them to be apart, Delphine wants to convince her otherwise.





	Following After

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosecake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosecake/gifts).



“You didn’t wait for me.”

Lorraine didn’t turn around, just took another drag from her dying cigarette, barely inhaling the smoke before blowing it again across the bar. The bartender fixed her with a glare; she gave him a cool look in return, daring him to come over and say something.

“I couldn’t stay in Berlin,” Lorraine finally replied, watching the filter shrivel up between her fingers.

“I wasn’t talking about Berlin.” Delphine deliberately moved enough for Lorraine to see her with a quick glance sideways.

Lorraine sighed and finally put her cigarette out of its misery in the closest ash tray. She anticipated this conversation after how things had ended in Berlin. It’s why she wound up in Paris, easy enough to find.

“I suppose I could say you ‘stood me up,’ to borrow a parlance,” Delphine continued. Her tone belied no anger or aggravation. Unusual for someone this young and new to the heartlessness espionage was mired in, especially after Lorraine’s recent broken promise. “Berlin, I understand. After…what happened,” Delphine made an aborted motion towards her neck and something ugly and angry flared to life within Lorraine. “But,” her smooth French accent not faltering once, “the address you gave me, the one for New York.” The soft sound of Delphine sitting next to managed to permeate all other noise in the bar. “That was real. You wanted me there.”

Lorraine’s empty fingers drummed against the nicked wooden surface and, in her mind, erased the last word from that sentence. It was more honest that way.

She turned to look at Delphine; a mistake, maybe, but one worth making. Her hair was shorter, cropped close and curved around her ears. The dark leather jacket had seen better days, but helped her fit in with the rowdy locale. And, most importantly, the deep bruises around her neck had nearly faded to invisibility. Lorraine felt a modicum of relief though a practical part of her also realized her slight disappointment they were completely gone. No bruises, no scars – no memories to caution against a next time.  

Silence stretched out long enough for Delphine to note it.

“Still like what you see?” she asked, cocking her head to the side, whisper of a smile on her face. Lorraine wasn’t supposed to feel at ease, but she couldn’t hold back a soft snort anyway.

“You know the answer to that,” she replied.

Delphine gave in to a real smile. “The view I have isn’t half-bad either.” Even though Lorraine could still feel the shades of purple around her eye, she knew Delphine was telling the truth. The only commodity more precious than their own lives and she continued to waste it on someone as undeserving as Lorraine; someone who nearly cost Delphine her life, and if they continued to associate, might be forced to take it herself.

The mask was starting to slip back onto her face as her resolve returned. Being alone was worth Delphine’s life.

“New York was a mistake,” Lorraine said, trying to flatten her voice into disinterest. Delphine eyed her carefully.

“Who thinks so: the spy, or you?”

Lorraine arched an eyebrow. “You believe there’s a difference?”

Ignoring her question, Delphine motioned for the bartender, leaning up against the counter and smiling at him in familiarity as they engaged in conversation. Lorraine turned away to search herself for any more cigarettes until she remembered the remains in the ashtray had been her last one. Instead, she turned to her surroundings to occupy herself.  

Smoke clung to the place like fine mist in the early morning. It was an out of the way place, only found if you knew where to look for it so almost everyone present was some kind of regular. Though it was emptier now than when she walked in, she eyed those who remained. The older man in the back still working through a second pint of beer and probably whatever remained of his marriage. The interracial couple cozied together and sharing a smoke, her pale legs in fishnet stockings resting on his lap. The three young men huddled together in the back and, even from here, Lorraine could see at least two pairs of hands clasped under their table. Not a threat among them, but at this stage of her life Lorraine never really stopped looking for any.

“It doesn’t matter to me.” Delphine’s voice breached through Lorraine’s thoughts like a knife against skin. The ability to surprise someone with years of experience gained and identities lost either spoke to Delphine’s natural talent for espionage or Lorraine’s faltering in it.

Perhaps it was both.

Delphine tentatively reached a hand across the space between them – might as well be a chasm instead of a few inches – and lightly rested it atop Lorraine’s, who with great effort didn’t flinch at the soft contact.

“You don’t see a difference; I do.” She shrugged. “Maybe if we stay together long enough, one of us can prove the other wrong.”

“That’s not a risk worth taking.”

“Ah, you mean _we_ aren’t a risk worth taking. But Berlin was different?”

“Berlin was temporary.”

“Yes. But here we are now.”

“You almost weren’t.”

“And I haven’t forgotten.”

Lorraine curled her lip, biting back something ugly she could’ve responded with. But Delphine leveled her with a look that said she could hear it anyway.

“That’s why you’re doing this, yes?” She lifted her chin defiantly. “Trying to keep me away so I won’t be hurt?” She smiled. “Do you think it’ll work? I’ll say it again: I already survived Berlin.”

Sighing heavily, frustration bubbling to the surface, Lorraine itched for another cigarette. “Barely. Not without cost.”

“Pain is the price of love,” Delphine replied nonchalantly.

“Even the French should have limits on how far that goes.” Lorraine paused, feeling the conversation slipping out of her control. “Your life – and love – aren’t worth being wasted-“

“Is that what you think? That I’m wasting them on you?” Delphine’s tone was curious, not annoyed. “I don’t think that’s true. And if you give me the chance, I can prove it.” She slid off the barstool and gathered herself to leave. She came to stand in front of Lorraine, who watched her every move like she was memorizing it in case this meeting was their last.

Delphine smiled – warm, sly, real – and leaned forward, a hair’s breadth away from a kiss.

“I’m not giving up,” she murmured. 

“You know where I stand. I know how you feel. For now, the rest doesn’t matter.”

She leaned forward to bridge the gap in a soft kiss that reminded Lorraine why this woman was worth breaking all her rules. It was chaste in a way Lorraine was unfamiliar with, but she knew Delphine wanted her to be, was willing to teach her. A small object slid into Lorraine’s free hand as they parted.

“I can wait. Just know that wherever you go, I’m willing to be there,” Delphine said as she adjusted her jacket before walking out the door, Lorraine’s cool eyes on her until she was out of sight. She looked down at the cigarette Delphine gave her and rolled it between her fingers for a few seconds before lighting it. With a deep inhale, she fixed her gaze on the bar's exit. And after a few long seconds, exhaled a waft of smoke before getting up and walking right through it.

**Author's Note:**

> I based this off your prompt where Lorraine tries to leave Delphine behind but Delphine won't be shrugged off that easily. Some of my favorite moments in Atomic Blonde were the conversations between these two so I tried to replicate that here. Hope you like!


End file.
